When you're concerned about a friend...
Thought of the week:
Nothing brings out the worst in another than your focusing on it.
Nothing brings out the best in another than your focusing on it.
Dear Dolly InnerGirl,
My friends and I are concerned about our friend who we think has an eating disorder. We aren’t sure how to bring it up with her because she would never admit this to herself let alone us. She spends ages in the bathroom at home, doesn't eat much, she's very self-conscious and she’s really skinny.
We don't know what to do and we are worried that she is going to harm herself. What should we do – please help!!!
Worried Friends, NSW
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Answer:
Hi Worried Friends,
Lets look at this from the viewpoint of all her friends that care, and want her to change. In fact, scientific evidence is now in that what we think of others actually affects them. So as you worry about your friends’ behaviour, you are sending her worrying vibes.
This is NOT helpful. You could experiment with this instead.
Send her only loving vibes. Do some visualization. Get your group together, and go somewhere quiet. Do some deep breaths, and close your eyes. When you are calm and focused, in your mind, see your friend in her fav clothes and happy smiling as you send her this thought; “You are lovable”, three times, and see her responding. It only takes a few minutes.
Do this as a group at least once a day. Keep this as your own loving ritual for your friend, so keep it to yourselves. It has more power that way. Also when you speak of her at other times, only talk about what she is good at. Give her compliments that are genuine. What you focus on grows..
Dear Dolly InnerGirl,
I'm 14-years-old and I have recently had my heartbroken by this guy I really liked. My best friend is a guy and he’s done everything he can to make me feel better again. He's really nice, sweet, protective and good-looking too. I think that I may be starting to fall for him!
All my friends tell me that he likes me, that he always has and that he hates watching me getting hurt by other guys. I'm very confused and I think that I may actually be in love! Is it too soon after another relationship to have these kinds of feelings? What should I do?
S, NSW
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Answer:
Hello S,
We usually feel a little fragile after a break up and we need some “me” time to get settled and confident again.
You show a great deal of maturity in that you already know that if you go ahead with this guy friend, to take it slowly. Spend a bit of time, doing some fun stuff with friends, and do reading or clear out your room, or exercise, to chill out. Talk to him as you always have, and when the time is right let the vibe grow.
Email us with your age and question at dollymail@acpmagazines.com.au with "DOLLYinnergirl" as the subject.
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