When you feel like you don't fit in...
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Thought of the week
Fate determines who comes into our lives,
Our attitude and actions determines who stays!
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Dear Dolly InnerGirl,
My friends are more popular and prettier than me. I hate it. I wish I was more like them. People like them but everyone criticizes me. They say I'm too opinionated and fussy. I feel sad all the time and I'm sick of it! How can I stop feeling so bad about myself?
A, NSW
A:
Hi A,
How’s that. You are so over feeling miserable! Comparing yourself with others only hurts you. Your friends don’t seem affected.
Is it possible that your unhappiness is magnified by what you think, and how you express yourself? Lets look carefully at the words others say about you. These give clues on what would help. Like “opinionated and fussy”. Well, life is a boomerang. What you give out comes back to you. You find fault with others, they find fault with you.
It’s mad that when we want to be accepted most, we push people away with our PLOM attitude (Poor Little Old Me). The way to go is first to be honest with what you say to yourself. Your thoughts are having a great time getting you to feel bad. So now be a detective searching for all the private put downs you say to yourself constantly. Write them down. Now rip up the page!
Now comes the challenge to find some things about you that are awesome. See, you’ve just been focusing on less that half of who you are, so no wonder you feel weird. Get your thoughts focused on the good stuff. You are not them. You are unique and as wonderful as any of them.
Another good thing to do is write a list of at least 25 things that make you happy, and do 1 or 2 of these every day. Change your thoughts and you change your mood, which changes your life. The happier you are, the more you’ll attract others to you!
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Dear Dolly InnerGirl,
I’m starting High School this year and I'm really worried. I'm a shy person and I'm really worried about making new friends, getting lost or not doing well in my schoolwork. Please give me some ideas on how to fix these problems.
E, VIC
Hi E,
As you move out of the comfort of your primary school past, into the future, it is natural to feel a little uncomfortable. Many like you, are facing this adventure in 2010.
The school system is well experienced and prepared to welcome you new guys. They know it’s a transitional time and you don’t need to be concerned about the new ways of getting into a routine that supports the best outcomes for you.
The most important thing for you to do is to have the intention of getting the best out of yourself. Before getting up every morning, close your eyes and see yourself having a good day in class, and spending time with other students you get on well with. Get the Feeling of “It’s all good”.
Really practice so you have a warm and comfortable feeling inside before you get out of bed. Say: "I intend to see what I want to see today. No matter who I am with, No matter what I am doing, No matter where I am, I intend to see what I want to see!" Make it a habit.
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Email us with your questions dollymail@acpmagazines.com.au with "DOLLYinnergirl" as the subject.
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