In every relationship there’s going to be ups and downs, but it can be hard to tell if your relationship is normal or not. If you have any of these thoughts or feelings, take it as a flashing neon sign hint that things are definitely not cool.
You feel like he’s driven a wedge between you and your family and friends.
In a new romance it’s tempting to get lost inside the Love Bubble, and only come out for food and water. But it’s not healthy to ditch your family and friends and be with your guy pretty much 24/7. It’s especially not cool if your boyfriend tries to take you away from friends or family, or even tells you not to spend time with them. Be sure to spend time with friends and family, and never agree to ditch them because he said so.
You’re worried he’ll harm himself or you if you break up with him.
If a guy threatens to hurt you or himself when you’re talking about breaking up, it’s a glaring sign the relationship is not healthy. Break-ups can be upsetting and hard, but by telling you he’ll hurt himself or you he’s trying to control you, and stop you from breaking-up. Tell a trusted adult or friend, or make an appointment with the school counsellor for advice on how to handle the situation.
You don’t trust him
Obsessively face-stalking all his female friends on Facebook? Sneaking a look at his texts when he goes to the bathroom? It’s a sign you don’t trust your guy. If you suspect him of lying to you or cheating on you, you’ll never be able to rest easy. Confront him about your feelings, or talk to a trusted adult or counsellor.
Related: Reader Q&A: "I've got a jealous boyfriend"
You feel pressured to do things you don’t want to do.
Whether it’s sex, drugs, getting into a car or anything you don’t feel comfortable doing, if someone cares about you they should never push you into doing something you don’t want to do. You have a responsibility to speak up for yourself and use that very important word – no. But if he still continues to pressure you, it’s time to distance yourself as quickly as possible.
You’re always wondering if he’s going to lose his temper (again).
It’s not much fun always trying to do and say the right things to stop someone from losing their cool. Getting angry and yelling, throwing things or even physically hurting you is a manipulation method to get you to do what he wants. If a guy uses physical or emotional abuse towards you, it’s time to tell someone immediately.
Email us with your questions dollymail@acpmagazines.com.au with "DOLLYinnergirl" as the subject.
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